When You Can’t Bowel Prep
Version 1
The heralded launch of “AI Don’t Surf” didn't go exactly as I had envisioned. I imagined massive fanfare and Hoo Razz all around .
“I can't wait to spend all my time reading your blogs and commenting on your website”.
All Praise Artificial Intelligence
I had forgotten that other people have lives as well. Sometimes you just really need to appreciate what you have going on in your life, and how lucky you am. The cricket response to my new blog was the lowest point to my week.
In one case the reason for the crickets was because they were in the hospital dealing with a perforated bowel to be exact.
Perforated Bowel
Here I am acting like an asshole upset that my friend can't spend two minutes to read my blog while her husband is in the hospital having half his colon cut out.
Perforated Bowel
I do know one thing that could help him if he can’t bowel prep! Timentin.
I was gifted this T-shirt by our friend's father after he brought it home from a conference and after I assured him, I would wear it. It is an ad for medicine to help you bowel prep called Timentin that has graphically accurate bowel disorders as you can see.
“If you can't bowel prep” Timentin is the slogan.
I represented Timentin all through High School. I used to love that T shirt, and I'd wear it everywhere and get the craziest reactions. Of course I did, I was wearing a picture of a torn bowel that is blown up and right where my actual bowel is located.
A torn bowel looks like it fucking sucks. And to think that our friend who's our age and has a three-year-old has a torn bowel. He will be walking around with a colostomy bag for the next three months best case scenario.
That's a much lower point than I who was honestly upset that no one commented when I specifically asked people to comment. (The comment section is actually broken, and I don't know how to fix it. So maybe there'll be comments at some point in the future and if so, please comment.)
Thinking about my friend and her husband who is in a lot of pain makes you think about mortality. It's right in front of you every day. We lost our friend MC RocktheMic this summer. It was his father who gave me the Timentin T-Shirt. Now if you can’t bowel prep…
Timentin!
AI will never understand mortality. I think knowing we are mortal is what makes us human. It is crazy how little we value each day that we are healthy.
AI Don’t Bowel Prep
Version 2
The grand launch of "AIDon'tSurf" didn't quite match the fanfare I'd imagined in my head. You know that dream where everyone's eagerly waiting to read your every word? "I can't wait to spend all my time reading your blogs and commenting on your website!" Yeah, that wasn't exactly how it played out.
Praise Artificial Intelligence, right?
What I hadn't considered was that people have actual lives. Real, complicated, sometimes messy lives. And boy, did I get a reality check about that. The cricket-chorus response to my new blog had me feeling pretty low – until I learned why one friend hadn't been commenting.
They were in the hospital. Dealing with a perforated bowel, to be exact.
There I was, acting like a complete jerk, upset that my friend couldn't spare two minutes to read my blog while her husband was having half his colon removed. Talk about perspective.
Speaking of bowels (since we're on the topic), it reminds me of this T-shirt I used to have. Our friend's father brought it home from a medical conference – a promotional shirt for Timentin, complete with graphically accurate bowel disorders. The slogan?
"If you can't bowel prep, Timentin!"
I wore that shirt proudly throughout high school. Picture it: a teenager walking around with an anatomically correct torn bowel illustration positioned right where my actual bowel is. The reactions were priceless. I was basically a walking pharmaceutical advertisement, and I loved every minute of it.
But now, looking at our friend – someone our age, with a three-year-old – facing three months with a colostomy bag (best case scenario), that torn bowel illustration doesn't seem quite so amusing anymore. A perforated bowel isn't just some graphic on a T-shirt; it's a brutal reality that makes my disappointment over a lack of blog comments seem ridiculous. (Though in my defense, the comment section is actually broken, and I have no idea how to fix it. So maybe there are would-be commenters out there? If you're reading this and the comments ever start working, please drop one!)
This whole situation has me thinking about mortality. It's right there in front of us every day, isn't it? We lost our friend MC RocktheMic this summer – ironically, the son of the same man who gave me that Timentin T-shirt. Now when I think of that slogan –
"If you can't bowel prep... Timentin!" – it hits differently.
You know what's interesting? AI will never understand mortality. I think that's one of the fundamental things that makes us human – knowing that our time here is finite. It's crazy how little we appreciate each healthy day we have, until something comes along to remind us just how precious those ordinary days really are.
(Note to self: Maybe I should spend less time worrying about blog comments and more time appreciating what – and who – I have right now.)